Cyril takes the letter and reads it. His face gets stony as he does, carefully concealing his growing anger. Then, he looks up at Pel and softens a bit.
"Pel..." he starts, but he isn't sure what to say so instead he moves closer and offers his arm for her to come closer.
She does not touch him, but she steps inside and sits on a chair, the bleakness in her heart reflected in the cold light in her eyes. She does not move from there, but her gaze drops, a sign that she is listening. What does he have to say, then?
Cyril sighs and moves to sit with her. "You've lasted this long without them being heavily involved with your life," he says finally. His voice is calm and practical. "I say put this bullshit out of your mind and focus on the people who actually care about you."
She shakes her head faintly. That's not what it's about. Not really. When she speaks, her voice is low.
"It can be easy to forget, here in Skyhold, what the Dalish are really like. We fit in, in the clan, because we didn't know anything else. Now we've grown. Here in this fortress, Beleth is the most conservative of us. She is so disappointed that we've grown past her. And when I got angry with her, I forgot that while she is the most conservative of us, she is a radical among the other Dalish. I forget that all the time, every time I think she's being unreasonable and she's the worst the Dalish can throw at me. Then I got this letter. And I've worked so hard, Cy. Everything I've done has been for the benefit of our people. It is the sacred calling of the Dalish to remember, and I always believed that meant more than a passive remembering. When you've forgotten, you have to search for what you've forgotten if you want to remember. And while I've been here, searching, I've lost my place among the people I thought I was serving."
Cyril listens and lets her speak, but a part of him is thinking that she's setting this up to say that she wants to go back and honestly, a part of him is disappointed at that thought. He doesn't want to go back, as reckless as that makes him, and he doesn't want her to do so either.
"What do you want to do about it?" he asks after a moment, giving her the chance to declare that for herself.
Her gaze drops again. This time, she is listening to herself.
"Get back to work," she sighs wearily. But it's the truth. All she wants to do is go back to what she was doing. "Maybe at the end of this, if there is an end, I'll find a people who want what I have to offer. But that's not the Dalish."
Cyril sort of leans against her lightly. "I realized it when Beleth said out in the open that she was the only proper Dalish elf from the Clan left here."
"And she's one of the accepting ones." The letter from her parents proved that much. "And then I spoke with that elf, the one who first asked about the Dalish--Margaux. She said she was sorry for me, because her family would take her back if she went back. And I started to wonder why the Dalish are like that. And it frightens me to think I was like that, once. I just hadn't been put to the test to prove it."
Cyril felt a frown form on his face. After a moment, he shares his true thoughts on the subject. It's an opinion that he hasn't spoken to anyone before. "This whole thing... All of it. It's so stupid. They talk about how they want to support the future and how important it is to bring all of the elves back into the fold, and then they reject anything that doesn't perfectly fit the mold."
A pause, as he lets his thoughts catch up and gives up pretending that this isn't, at least in part, about his sexuality. "It's exhausting trying to squeeze into it and when you do slip out and let yourself be the shape that you are, they act like you're a traitor. It's almost as if... As if they don't really want all of the elves. They only want the ones they think of as perfect."
Then, he comes closer and puts a hand on Pel's shoulder. "They don't even see that your child is going to be prefect, just for being who they are."
A faint, faraway smile. "Never again shall we submit," she whispers. Her gaze falls again, then turns to Cyril. "And her name is Sina. I'm having a girl."
Cyril blinks, because he realizes the name is a tribute to the adult Sina and that causes a lot of emotions to happen all at once. "Did you tell Sina that?" he asks, trying to imagine how she would have reacted.
"She knows my intent. I haven't had time to tell her it's definitely a girl. I just found out." A huff. "Cy, what comes next? City life is much harder for elves than clan life. They duck their heads and avert their eyes when humans pass by. And it must be at least as dangerous to settle in the country."
"I don't know, Pel," he admits after a moment. "For all we know, the world might end before we have to figure it out." He knows that's a rather dark way of thinking, but he's being honest right now.
"The only thing I know for sure is that you and little Sina won't be alone. I'll be here to help you, in any way that I can."
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"Pel..." he starts, but he isn't sure what to say so instead he moves closer and offers his arm for her to come closer.
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"It can be easy to forget, here in Skyhold, what the Dalish are really like. We fit in, in the clan, because we didn't know anything else. Now we've grown. Here in this fortress, Beleth is the most conservative of us. She is so disappointed that we've grown past her. And when I got angry with her, I forgot that while she is the most conservative of us, she is a radical among the other Dalish. I forget that all the time, every time I think she's being unreasonable and she's the worst the Dalish can throw at me. Then I got this letter. And I've worked so hard, Cy. Everything I've done has been for the benefit of our people. It is the sacred calling of the Dalish to remember, and I always believed that meant more than a passive remembering. When you've forgotten, you have to search for what you've forgotten if you want to remember. And while I've been here, searching, I've lost my place among the people I thought I was serving."
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"What do you want to do about it?" he asks after a moment, giving her the chance to declare that for herself.
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"Get back to work," she sighs wearily. But it's the truth. All she wants to do is go back to what she was doing. "Maybe at the end of this, if there is an end, I'll find a people who want what I have to offer. But that's not the Dalish."
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"I hoped you were. We'll figure this out, I promise."
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A pause, as he lets his thoughts catch up and gives up pretending that this isn't, at least in part, about his sexuality. "It's exhausting trying to squeeze into it and when you do slip out and let yourself be the shape that you are, they act like you're a traitor. It's almost as if... As if they don't really want all of the elves. They only want the ones they think of as perfect."
Then, he comes closer and puts a hand on Pel's shoulder. "They don't even see that your child is going to be prefect, just for being who they are."
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"The only thing I know for sure is that you and little Sina won't be alone. I'll be here to help you, in any way that I can."