Cyril doesn't speak again. He gives Cade time to adjust and work up courage to be the first to say something else. Instead, he focuses on getting the stall ready and setting out all of the little traps and trinkets he's hoping to sell.
The silence is soothing, in its way, and Cade appreciates having a bit of it to readjust to the situation. He helps Cyril with as much as he can before he starts to worry he'll just mess it up, at which point he steps back and folds his hands self-consciously. "I don't, um..." he begins, clearing his throat.
When he isn't interrupted, or otherwise jumped on, Cade very carefully ventures forward. "...I don't think you're wrong," he murmurs, almost too quietly to be heard. Wrong, of course, here refers not to the opposite of right, but to the opposite of moral. He glances furtively at Cyril after he says it, the look of someone who isn't used to expecting or receiving forgiveness.
Cyril just sort of keeps his brow raised for a moment. Then, finally, he
says, very carefully, "Some of the things I said to you were unfair. I know
Beleth has worked on forgiving you, it wasn't right for me to throw what
happened between the two of you in your face. I've seen people respond
violently when they are upset before. It wasn't right to bring that up in
the way that I did.'
Not in his wildest dreams did Cade imagine that Cyril would be apologizing to him, and he looks genuinely surprised at the gesture. He stares at the elf for a brief moment, then nods slowly. "...it's all right," he says quietly, awkwardly, "it's true." It's not fair to hold it against people when they condemn him for hitting Beleth; he did it, after all, and that's something he's going to live with forever.
Oh no.... Cade thought it was clear. This just got awkward again. He looks down and frowns, his pale face immediately going pink. "The, uh..." he stammers, "your..." He clears his throat and pauses. "...your. Choices." He looks up at Cyril, silently imploring him to catch his drift.
"My... choices?" he asks. He might be trying to get Cade to actually say
it. "From my memory, you were commenting on something I am, not something I
choose to be."
A part of Cade believes this couldn't get any worse, even though he know it can. He keeps lookign down, his shoulders hunched, making himself small. "The... yes," he clarifies, "your... who you are. The..." He rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably. "...the people you choose." Maker, this is torment.
"Cade..." Cyril says and his voice is patient despite everything. "There are many people here who are with lovers of the same gender. Being uncomfortable around it... It's got to cause you more distress than needed. Why does who other people are with bother you so much?"
Oh, it does. Endless distress. But to say why is half the problem, as it's nobody's business, definitely not something he wants the majority of people around him to know. They already have too much ammunition.
Cade opens his mouth and closes it several times, still blushing deeply, ever unable to handle being put on the spot this way, even for such a simple question. "I, um..." he falters, "I knew someone who..." Didn't keep it to himself, didn't mind his own business with his partner of choice. ...well. In a sense he did, but it was his choice, not his "partner"'s. "...wasn't good," he lamely concludes. Conjuring up too many details always feels like he might summon Brother Flavius from the ether.
Cyril's eyes narrow a bit. He can figure out that when Cade says he knows someone who 'wasn't good' and links it to sexuality he can figure out something of what happened. He doesn't pry, doesn't ask for more detail, but he doesn't soften a bit in his stance. There's still not a lot of emotion in his face though.
"There are people who are not good of all kinds," he points out. "Just as there are many people who are good of all kinds. I suppose the only thing that I can do is try to be one of the good ones."
"I know," Cade concedes, lowering his head somewhat, clearly ashamed to have to be told this. In truth, Cyril is the one person thus far who has actually received any information freely given; previously, there was the Fade incident, and a meltdown to Zevran predicated by feeling threatened. It seems strange and almost sterile now, and he's overly aware of Cyril's reaction, sees the narrowing of the elf's eyes. "I'm sorry," he says, and looks down at his feet. There's no way to make this better, not really.
Cyril nods at the apology. "Accepted. I honestly shouldn't have responded as strongly as I should either. There will be all sort of people who have opinions about my choices, and reacting such a way to them is just a way to make the whole situation even worse." A pause. "I guess that means that I'm sorry too."
Cade is surprised to receive the apology in turn, and glances briefly at Cyril, just long enough to see that he's serious. Then Cade nods, pursing his lips. "It's all right," he replies, then lapses into silence, his frequent approach to situations that are awkward.
Cade seems surprised by the question, but his confusion quickly becomes a small, sheepish smile. "...yes," he says, "but I, um. Messed it up again." So he can do it more than once, of course. He assumes that's the point.
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no subject
Date: 2017-03-07 04:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-03-09 02:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-03-09 02:46 am (UTC)Cyril considers him then and waits, wanting to let Cade have the chance to complete his sentence.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-09 02:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-03-09 03:07 am (UTC)Cyril just sort of keeps his brow raised for a moment. Then, finally, he says, very carefully, "Some of the things I said to you were unfair. I know Beleth has worked on forgiving you, it wasn't right for me to throw what happened between the two of you in your face. I've seen people respond violently when they are upset before. It wasn't right to bring that up in the way that I did.'
no subject
Date: 2017-03-09 07:05 am (UTC)"...it's all right," he says quietly, awkwardly, "it's true." It's not fair to hold it against people when they condemn him for hitting Beleth; he did it, after all, and that's something he's going to live with forever.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-09 11:01 pm (UTC)"When you said you didn't think I was wrong, what did you mean?" he asks then. "Wrong about what?"
no subject
Date: 2017-03-09 11:17 pm (UTC)He looks down and frowns, his pale face immediately going pink. "The, uh..." he stammers, "your..." He clears his throat and pauses. "...your. Choices." He looks up at Cyril, silently imploring him to catch his drift.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-10 12:09 am (UTC)"My... choices?" he asks. He might be trying to get Cade to actually say it. "From my memory, you were commenting on something I am, not something I choose to be."
no subject
Date: 2017-03-10 12:16 am (UTC)"The... yes," he clarifies, "your... who you are. The..." He rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably. "...the people you choose." Maker, this is torment.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-10 12:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-03-10 01:04 am (UTC)Cade opens his mouth and closes it several times, still blushing deeply, ever unable to handle being put on the spot this way, even for such a simple question.
"I, um..." he falters, "I knew someone who..." Didn't keep it to himself, didn't mind his own business with his partner of choice. ...well. In a sense he did, but it was his choice, not his "partner"'s.
"...wasn't good," he lamely concludes. Conjuring up too many details always feels like he might summon Brother Flavius from the ether.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-10 02:54 am (UTC)"There are people who are not good of all kinds," he points out. "Just as there are many people who are good of all kinds. I suppose the only thing that I can do is try to be one of the good ones."
no subject
Date: 2017-03-10 07:03 am (UTC)"I'm sorry," he says, and looks down at his feet. There's no way to make this better, not really.
no subject
Date: 2017-04-24 03:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-04-30 08:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-04-30 09:48 pm (UTC)Cyril lets the silence last a bit longer. "Have you... have you been able to figure out the puzzle box I gave you?" he asked after a moment.
no subject
Date: 2017-05-01 06:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-05-01 06:17 am (UTC)Cyril nods. "Good. That means you'll get more use from it. I hope it helps give you something to do with your hands."