Cyril, you know I'm not anything just because you spoke to him! You told him... all the-- I'm the one who's supposed to tell people things about myself!
[It's Sorrel's turn to go silent. What is there to say to all this?]
You... You don't even understand why I'm upset, do you?
[He's quiet for a moment, because he's still just so confused by all of this and more than a little bit frustrated right now.
He had gone to Adasse specifically to figure out if he should stop sleeping with him or not. He had been trying to consider how the fact that he and Adasse ended up fucking almost every time they were alone would made Sorrel feel. He had been trying to do the right thing, the normal thing that normal people would want to do - people who weren't fundamentally broken when it came to their views of the value of their own bodies and sex.
And now he's being told that he had still gotten it wrong.]
No. Explain it to me so I can understand, without threatening me this time please.
[The joke is small and petulant, but hopefully enough to communicate what it's meant to do; that if Sorrel is hurt, that he's still not angry enough at Cyril to truly push him away. He can still joke about it, and believe that Cyril will smile.]
That... It was family stuff, wasn't it? Our family is... hard. I know that, I'm not stupid, or blind, but it was mine to tell. He didn't tattle on you, by the way, he just... sort of half-confirmed when I caught him. Am I wrong? Tell me I'm wrong, that you didn't spill half the Keeper's dirty laundry out at Adasse's feet, and I'll apologize.
[beat]
...Maybe the threatening was premature. I am sorry for that. I nearly died yesterday, I'm not having the best judgement.
[He was gearing up to respond to the bit about talking about the Clan when anything that he could have said was automatically derailed by the way that Sorrel brings up almost dying.]
I kind of got kidnapped by this... gang? Adasse said they were called the 'Harlots.' But he came after me as soon as he found out, and there was this fight. I'm pretty sure they're not going to be a problem anymore and... Anyways, in all the fuss, I got poisoned. I almost died.
But I didn't!
Adasse saved me, carried me all the way to safety. And then Beleth saved me. Because she gave me an antidote. Then I slept for a while, and I'm fine. [Was this really all yesterday?] Actually, it might've been earlier than yesterday, I was asleep for a while.
[There is another awkward pause while Sorrel thinks.]
My pie surprise got ruined. But it didn't matter, anyways, since everything else was happening. That, and Adasse kissed me.
Fenedhis, Sorrel. You're telling me that you got kidnapped and poisoned?? And got kissed by a handsome man? All in one day??
And you're calling me not to tell me you're all right, or to talk about how nice the kiss was, but because you're mad that I might have said something about the Clan??
[Well see, now he's mad all over again, because that's...really hard to argue.]
I... I don't know. I just. [He's losing confidence, now. Maybe he hadn't a right to feel hurt, or to be angry. Probably it didn't matter, and Cyril was right and... and better just to let it all go. It didn't matter.] In my defense, I was poisoned?
[How long can he ride this excuse?]
It was really nice, the kiss. [Themn in a quieter voice, desperately vulnerable:] He said he loves me.
I'm so happy you're all right. I can't imagine how everyone would deal with losing you too, so soon after... [He doesn't say it, because he doesn't need too. They both know what he means.]
And, I'm happy that you two got to get those words out.
I'm not happy that you were attacked. Is that gang going to be a problem? Are you sure you're okay? Should I contact Merrick?
[Because Merrick is out there somewhere making a living as an assassin and if he needs to take care of this gang he totally will.]
No, no, no. Beleth was pretty mad, I think she'd want to do it herself. You know, she's been dealing with a lot of stress lately.
[So, it's a good outlet for her to take it out on people who've earned it.]
Besides, what are all these fancy Inquisition assassins she's got on payroll for, if not this? It's all well in hand. Even if you called Merrick right now, he'd be lucky to arrive in time to have anything to do.
That's true. And if we needed him, Beleth probably knows how to contact him too.
[He sighs, letting out a breath he wasn't even aware he was holding in.]
And no side effects from the poison? Any lasting damage?
[He can remember what it was like when Merrick had been poisoned and how terrifying the whole thing had been. He can't imagine Sorrel going through something like that.]
I'm still sleeping a lot, and I get dizzy if I move around too quickly. Of course, it helps that there's someone hanging around and bringing me tea and snacks and things, whenever I need them.
[Spoiler: It's Adasse.]
But Bel' said I should be fine; if it goes on too long, we'll ask one of the Healers to have a look, though, don't worry.
[Sorrel is quiet for a while. He hasn't put the crystal away, and his end of the conversation is little more than ambient sound, blankets, breathing, enough that Cyril can't mistake it for being forgotten, only for what it is; silence. A thinking silence.]
I love you too, lethallin. I'll see you later, then. Try not to worry too much; I really am alright.
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no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 03:20 am (UTC)[It's Sorrel's turn to go silent. What is there to say to all this?]
You... You don't even understand why I'm upset, do you?
no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 03:26 am (UTC)He had gone to Adasse specifically to figure out if he should stop sleeping with him or not. He had been trying to consider how the fact that he and Adasse ended up fucking almost every time they were alone would made Sorrel feel. He had been trying to do the right thing, the normal thing that normal people would want to do - people who weren't fundamentally broken when it came to their views of the value of their own bodies and sex.
And now he's being told that he had still gotten it wrong.]
No. Explain it to me so I can understand, without threatening me this time please.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 03:41 am (UTC)[The joke is small and petulant, but hopefully enough to communicate what it's meant to do; that if Sorrel is hurt, that he's still not angry enough at Cyril to truly push him away. He can still joke about it, and believe that Cyril will smile.]
That... It was family stuff, wasn't it? Our family is... hard. I know that, I'm not stupid, or blind, but it was mine to tell. He didn't tattle on you, by the way, he just... sort of half-confirmed when I caught him. Am I wrong? Tell me I'm wrong, that you didn't spill half the Keeper's dirty laundry out at Adasse's feet, and I'll apologize.
[beat]
...Maybe the threatening was premature. I am sorry for that. I nearly died yesterday, I'm not having the best judgement.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 03:48 am (UTC)[He was gearing up to respond to the bit about talking about the Clan when anything that he could have said was automatically derailed by the way that Sorrel brings up almost dying.]
no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 03:53 am (UTC)[There is an awkward pause.]
I kind of got kidnapped by this... gang? Adasse said they were called the 'Harlots.' But he came after me as soon as he found out, and there was this fight. I'm pretty sure they're not going to be a problem anymore and... Anyways, in all the fuss, I got poisoned. I almost died.
But I didn't!
Adasse saved me, carried me all the way to safety. And then Beleth saved me. Because she gave me an antidote. Then I slept for a while, and I'm fine. [Was this really all yesterday?] Actually, it might've been earlier than yesterday, I was asleep for a while.
[There is another awkward pause while Sorrel thinks.]
My pie surprise got ruined. But it didn't matter, anyways, since everything else was happening. That, and Adasse kissed me.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 04:03 am (UTC)Fenedhis, Sorrel. You're telling me that you got kidnapped and poisoned?? And got kissed by a handsome man? All in one day??
And you're calling me not to tell me you're all right, or to talk about how nice the kiss was, but because you're mad that I might have said something about the Clan??
no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 04:10 am (UTC)[Well see, now he's mad all over again, because that's...really hard to argue.]
I... I don't know. I just. [He's losing confidence, now. Maybe he hadn't a right to feel hurt, or to be angry. Probably it didn't matter, and Cyril was right and... and better just to let it all go. It didn't matter.] In my defense, I was poisoned?
[How long can he ride this excuse?]
It was really nice, the kiss. [Themn in a quieter voice, desperately vulnerable:] He said he loves me.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 04:15 am (UTC)I'm so happy you're all right. I can't imagine how everyone would deal with losing you too, so soon after... [He doesn't say it, because he doesn't need too. They both know what he means.]
And, I'm happy that you two got to get those words out.
I'm not happy that you were attacked. Is that gang going to be a problem? Are you sure you're okay? Should I contact Merrick?
[Because Merrick is out there somewhere making a living as an assassin and if he needs to take care of this gang he totally will.]
no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 04:21 am (UTC)[So, it's a good outlet for her to take it out on people who've earned it.]
Besides, what are all these fancy Inquisition assassins she's got on payroll for, if not this? It's all well in hand. Even if you called Merrick right now, he'd be lucky to arrive in time to have anything to do.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 04:25 am (UTC)[He sighs, letting out a breath he wasn't even aware he was holding in.]
And no side effects from the poison? Any lasting damage?
[He can remember what it was like when Merrick had been poisoned and how terrifying the whole thing had been. He can't imagine Sorrel going through something like that.]
no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 04:32 am (UTC)[Spoiler: It's Adasse.]
But Bel' said I should be fine; if it goes on too long, we'll ask one of the Healers to have a look, though, don't worry.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 04:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 04:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 04:46 am (UTC)[After a moment] Did you still want to talk about what you called me for originally?
no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 04:50 am (UTC)I don't know.
[He doesn't even know what he's supposed to feel, let alone what he actually feels, anymore.]
Are you angry?
no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 05:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 05:07 am (UTC)[See, now he's concerned he's gotten someone else in trouble.]
no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 05:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 05:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-01-31 05:17 am (UTC)Right now, I'm more worried about you than anything.
I am mad that the people who hurt you. I'd be mad at anyone who hurt you. I hope Beleth makes them pay.
no subject
Date: 2018-02-02 03:48 am (UTC)[Sorrel is quiet for a while. He hasn't put the crystal away, and his end of the conversation is little more than ambient sound, blankets, breathing, enough that Cyril can't mistake it for being forgotten, only for what it is; silence. A thinking silence.]
I love you too, lethallin. I'll see you later, then. Try not to worry too much; I really am alright.
no subject
Date: 2018-02-02 03:54 am (UTC)Good. Stay that way. At least until I visit.