"But a good lesson on why it's important not to shove it all in a corner and let those feelings build like that if you can help it," Nari muses when he's finished with his story, trying not to think too much about what could very well have happened to him. "It wasn't stupid, Cyril. You wouldn't call a woman on the edge of starving eating whatever mushroom she could scrape from the ground stupid if she poisoned herself, would you? Reckless, maybe. Incautious. But not stupid." She pauses, nodding seriously. "I'm glad you were okay," she says, "I'm glad you have people now."
"And I'm glad you do too, to enable you to be safer and better educated when you go into it," Cyril replies with a warm smile. "Do you feel more confident now? We could still talk about how to tend to your person afterwards."
Nari snorts gently, raises her eyesbrows, and ruffles her hair again simultaneously, a faint disbelieving smile on her lips, "I can't say I am confident, but I could say more, yes. I'd like to be ready, but I've the feeling that there is no being ready. Not the first time. Not really." The thought is heavy on her, obviously. "I know there's no way to be good without practice, that that's the way of every craft, but I feel like I'm a green novice being handed an aged piece of ironbark heartwood and the arulin'holm when I've never even touched pine... and not only that, but that heartwood is trusting me to find its shape. I have to be--I can't--" Nari blows out a breath, her fingers picking at each other nervously, "--I can't be this nervous," she says, changing direction mid-thought, her vulnerability turning into wry observation. "I know I can't. I'd never manage the first swing. I just want... to do right by them." She lets that sit in the air a moment, and then nods and straightens her shoulders back up.
"Which does mean we should talk about afterwards then, yes."
He understands where she's coming from and after a moment he comes closer and touches her arm lightly. He wants to provide some kind of physical comfort to her, to let her know that she is stronger than she thinks.
"It's... different for everyone. But there's going to need to be some kind of care for both of you. You'll need it just as much as your partner. For me, I need my wounds tended and some kind of physical affection. Providing that affection usually helps my partner feel connected too.
Your person might need something else, though. That's another thing you should talk about in detail before. You'll need to have what you need nearby. I'd suggest having water on hand, clean bandages, possibly some potions or healing salve as well. If they know how they respond after a session, see if they can tell you. Some cry, or curl up, or shake. There's a lot going on in your mind and heart in that state and there's such an intense sense of release afterwards. Your emotions can get jumbled. You both will need to be prepared."
Despite not being much for casual physical connection, Cyril's touch on her arm is grounding rather than uncomfortable. Enough so that Nari reaches up to give his slim hand a brief squeeze of thanks. Listening to him explain what was necessary, what might be needed, it all seemed so intimate. Was so intimate. But despite that, she feels warm and clear--a feeling she vastly prefers to the feverish riot of uncertainty that made her face burn and her heart stutter. Perhaps it was that the things she felt had somewhere to go now. Perhaps it was the centering that having someone to care for had always given her. Either way, it was a gift.
"I will, as much as I can be," Nari says with a nod. "You've given me a lot to think about, and I'm grateful. Very much so."
She stretches a bit, unfolding her legs and lengthening them before setting her feet on the ground with a satisfied sigh; much lighter than any of her previous exhalations had been. "So, in the interest of preparation... who is it I'm meant to go place an order with?"
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Date: 2018-02-22 03:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-23 02:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-23 04:32 am (UTC)"Which does mean we should talk about afterwards then, yes."
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Date: 2018-02-23 05:03 am (UTC)"It's... different for everyone. But there's going to need to be some kind of care for both of you. You'll need it just as much as your partner. For me, I need my wounds tended and some kind of physical affection. Providing that affection usually helps my partner feel connected too.
Your person might need something else, though. That's another thing you should talk about in detail before. You'll need to have what you need nearby. I'd suggest having water on hand, clean bandages, possibly some potions or healing salve as well. If they know how they respond after a session, see if they can tell you. Some cry, or curl up, or shake. There's a lot going on in your mind and heart in that state and there's such an intense sense of release afterwards. Your emotions can get jumbled. You both will need to be prepared."
no subject
Date: 2018-02-23 06:37 am (UTC)"I will, as much as I can be," Nari says with a nod. "You've given me a lot to think about, and I'm grateful. Very much so."
She stretches a bit, unfolding her legs and lengthening them before setting her feet on the ground with a satisfied sigh; much lighter than any of her previous exhalations had been. "So, in the interest of preparation... who is it I'm meant to go place an order with?"