For me as well. It has been... some time... since my last submissive disappeared from the city. I hadn't been letting myself be concerned about what they would do to me if I kept putting it off.
Knowing you were in the same boat gave me some needed motivation.
Honestly, I was worried it was a bit forward of me to bring it up. We haven't spoken much, but you did leave a good impression when we did speak.
No, it wasn't forward at all. I don't think it is necessarily for the best to shy from these discussions.
Though I find I rather tend to do so. I was... owned, previously - before I came here. I find myself in the position of not wanting to be kept again, but also... somewhat unsuited for freedom, as well.
[with events like this, he can't help but think perhaps he is simply not meant for a settled life as his own person.]
[The fact that Linneus was a slave in his homeworld makes this situation feel even more fucked up to Cyril. He bites back any of his own emotional reaction, not wanting to force those reactions on Linneus. It's not up to Linneus to handle Cyril's hang-ups about this.]
I will do everything I can to respect your autonomy, my friend.
Let me know what you need from me, and I will give it to you.
Ah, I am still... not sure. I thought I was, before but...
[recent events have thrown everything off for him, again. A sigh, settling himself on his sofa, bringing his knees up to his chest. Gathering himself]
I thought if I just had somewhere to go back to I would be able to manage in the Down - I have been in and out of the Up several times, as I think we talked about before, and I thought if I had somewhere of my own, without having to rely on anyone else...
[gesturing to his surroundings, trailing off]
...but I am not sure that is the case anymore. Even after I was gifted this home...
With the Creator in charge, that safety is threatened? [That's what he assumes is the problem anyway.]
If you'd like... I could stay there with you? Even if just on paper. I think if they believe a Dom has some say in it, they might be more inclined to let you keep it.
I... don't know. I thought a home would give me more stability but that's not the case. Perhaps it would be different if it were entirely mine but as it is...
[his position and circumstances have prevented him doing much to make the home his own; and it helps little that the Down is not the easiest place to live in the world.
It's hard. He's afraid to get invested, still has the servant's fear of everything being taken away from him]
I think the Down is perhaps not the easiest place to live.
[the softest laugh with that - understatement much, Linneus?]
If I were to live with you in the Up though... I don't think it would put this place at risk. It was meant as something I might come back to, something that would still belong to me, even if I were to contract. But perhaps - if you might allow me to maintain it?
If you are averse I can of course simply prepare it for my absence.
I'm not averse. As I said, I want to give you what you need from this contract. If you want to keep the house, then keep it. The only reason you have to ask for my permission is because of the system we find ourselves in. We will make sure to work it into the contract so it's legally protected.
Nothing that I think possible to write into such a contract. Certainly given more recent circumstances. And I struggle to ask for things in most cases, though that is a product of my background and no fault of yours.
[the hug he has around his legs is comforting; and he gathers himself in a little further]
I'm not sure I need spell them out to you, but I think anything more would be... more like gentlemen's agreements founded on trust. That you would not push me into anything I am uncomfortable with, save where it is necessary for our own protections. If anything like the Fort should happen again...
[a little shudder - discomfited just by the mention]
...I am not a performer. But if it is needed, I shall.
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no subject
Date: 2019-10-14 09:42 pm (UTC)Knowing you were in the same boat gave me some needed motivation.
Honestly, I was worried it was a bit forward of me to bring it up. We haven't spoken much, but you did leave a good impression when we did speak.
no subject
Date: 2019-10-15 06:12 am (UTC)Though I find I rather tend to do so. I was... owned, previously - before I came here. I find myself in the position of not wanting to be kept again, but also... somewhat unsuited for freedom, as well.
[with events like this, he can't help but think perhaps he is simply not meant for a settled life as his own person.]
no subject
Date: 2019-10-15 06:16 am (UTC)I will do everything I can to respect your autonomy, my friend.
Let me know what you need from me, and I will give it to you.
no subject
Date: 2019-10-15 09:37 am (UTC)[recent events have thrown everything off for him, again. A sigh, settling himself on his sofa, bringing his knees up to his chest. Gathering himself]
I thought if I just had somewhere to go back to I would be able to manage in the Down - I have been in and out of the Up several times, as I think we talked about before, and I thought if I had somewhere of my own, without having to rely on anyone else...
[gesturing to his surroundings, trailing off]
...but I am not sure that is the case anymore. Even after I was gifted this home...
no subject
Date: 2019-10-15 05:15 pm (UTC)If you'd like... I could stay there with you? Even if just on paper. I think if they believe a Dom has some say in it, they might be more inclined to let you keep it.
no subject
Date: 2019-10-15 05:54 pm (UTC)[his position and circumstances have prevented him doing much to make the home his own; and it helps little that the Down is not the easiest place to live in the world.
It's hard. He's afraid to get invested, still has the servant's fear of everything being taken away from him]
I think the Down is perhaps not the easiest place to live.
[the softest laugh with that - understatement much, Linneus?]
If I were to live with you in the Up though... I don't think it would put this place at risk. It was meant as something I might come back to, something that would still belong to me, even if I were to contract. But perhaps - if you might allow me to maintain it?
If you are averse I can of course simply prepare it for my absence.
no subject
Date: 2019-10-15 05:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-10-15 06:25 pm (UTC)[but he's settled a little by their talk, too. Shifting his shoulders with a little sigh]
All right, then.
no subject
Date: 2019-10-17 09:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-10-17 09:36 pm (UTC)[the hug he has around his legs is comforting; and he gathers himself in a little further]
I'm not sure I need spell them out to you, but I think anything more would be... more like gentlemen's agreements founded on trust. That you would not push me into anything I am uncomfortable with, save where it is necessary for our own protections. If anything like the Fort should happen again...
[a little shudder - discomfited just by the mention]
...I am not a performer. But if it is needed, I shall.
no subject
Date: 2019-10-17 09:40 pm (UTC)I know what you mean...
You should know that I'm not very good at displays of that sort of dominance. During that time, I ate very little.
If you need me to, I can do what they require, but we'll work that out together, I think?
no subject
Date: 2019-10-17 09:49 pm (UTC)[even when he had obeyed, it was with an uneasy stomach]
But I confess I am... better at subservience. So that may serve us well enough to manage.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-02 06:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-12-02 10:28 am (UTC)[whatever their discomfort with that]