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[samahl]

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[samahl]

[Cyril doesn't say anything, but it's clear he's listening and invested. He lets Kolivan say what he has to say.]

[knowledgeordeath]

There was someone of another race that I found myself fond of. We grew close.

[He's silent for a moment.]

That planet was one of the first ones the Galra destroyed. I watched it happen and knew that my chance for a future of peace was gone that day as I escaped the Empire and formed the Blades of Marmora. So others would be able to have that chance for something that was stolen from me.

[His eyes narrow before closing. And then he lifts his head up to look up at Cyril.]

I gave up my chance to have a life like that and gave up considering what I would ever want for myself. That lingers even now since I haven't thought of this in a long time. So I wanted to ask what your intentions were. What is it that you are wanting?

[samahl]

[Cyril feels like Kolivan's words wrap themselves around his heart and squeeze. He isn't quite sure how to process the emotion that fills him. It is a kind of painful sweetness that he's never fully experienced before.

He knows now he can't be flippant with this man. Kolivan has always been very blunt with him, he can do the same.

He thinks about how much the realization that he had fallen in love with Dorian had hurt him, and tries to imagine a world where he had told him the truth, were he had been able to give Bull the dragon tooth, where he wasn't the type of man who just flirted and kept everyone at arm's length away.

He sighs, not having realized that he had been holding his breath.]

Kolivan...

I want someone who makes me feel as safe, who understands what it's like to feel the pressure of leadership and the duty to give up even parts of your own body to a cause or for your people, who is strong, and caring, and beautiful, who will show me a perspective I've never considered, challenge me to be better than I am, and who I enjoy being around.

I haven't known you for long, but it's so clear that you are all of those things. If we only are allies or friends than that will be more than enough for me.

Most people I fall for end up being that anyway.

[He feels so hopelessly exposed now, and he crosses his arms over his chest like he's trying to protect himself.]

[knowledgeordeath]

[This is a side of Cyril that he hasn't seen before. But he appreciates it because it's honest. This is who Cyril really is and he's exposing himself in a way that he almost feels like the Dalish doesn't do often.

It helps.

It lets him see more of who this person is and he considers things. It's why he's quiet for a time before a large hand reaches out to rest against Cyril's arm, to gently lower it so he's not protecting himself anymore.]

If you feel that I can protect you then you don't need to protect yourself from me. You should let your heart feel freely when you are around me.

[samahl]

[Cyril lets his arms drop and looks up at Kolivan for a moment before he replies.]

I'd like that.

There are not many people I can do that around.

[knowledgeordeath]

[His hand lingers on his arm, his eyes remain on his face. This small being has exposed himself to him in a way that no one has in so long. Kolivan finds himself dragged back to many, many years ago.

He sighs a little but maintains the contact.]

I'm not certain of my desires as of yet. I will make no promises to you since you deserve those that can be kept. So I will be your friend for now.

[Yes. He said it. He said friend and not ally.]

You should feel free to pursue me as you wish until we can both determine what our hearts desire. Whatever that answer is, you will have my strength to protect you.

[samahl]

[Cyril smiles at that, and it's not the flirtatious grins he usually gives Kolivan. It makes his face seem so much younger.]

That's perfect for me.

And if you do determine that what you feel is purely platonic, you don't have to worry about scaring me away. I don't want to pressure you to do anything you don't want to do.

Not that I think such pressure would work, mind you. You don't seem the type to bend to anyone's will.

I only ask you tell me once you have it figured out.

[knowledgeordeath]

[Odd. That is a good look for those features. He tilts his head as he observes it. This look somehow makes him seem smaller. More vulnerable.

He quite likes it, he finds.]

I cannot be pressured into anything I don't wish to do. And I give my word that I will tell you when I have determined how I feel and where I wish for the pair of us to go.

[samahl]

That's all I could ask of you.

[After a moment he looks away, bowing his head a bit because he can't really stop smiling.

This has the oddest conversation he's had in a while for the way it's making his heart sink and soar so quickly.]

So, um, is everything you wanted to say? I'd hate to cut off part of your point with my gushing.

[knowledgeordeath]

I did not feel you were...gushing.

[Hm. Cyril seems very happy in this moment. He's going to remember that as he sits back finally.]

I had nothing else to add. However, you have come to this ship so it would make sense for us to share a meal before you depart.

[samahl]

[Cyril finally feels as if he's been able to regain control of his face, so he looks up at Kolivan and nods.]

Yes, I'd like that. I was working on something before you called, and may have forgotten to eat today, so somehow you continue to provide just what I need.

[knowledgeordeath]

You are too small to be forgetting to eat.

[He rises to his feet (as best he can since it's hard in here) so he can duck out into the hallway.]

I only eat the proteins here. Given what Robin has stated in criticism about my meals, I feel it is safe to assume there is other food on this ship aside from that.

[samahl]

[Cyril follows after him. He looks around the Goldstone curiously now that he has more time to take it in.]

Does the Goldstone have a cook? That makes your kitchen a bit more fancy, if I remember correctly.

[knowledgeordeath]

We have an upgraded kitchen but no cook. It seems this ship has a primary focus on security given that there are three of us.

[samahl]

That probably makes The Goldstone a pretty safe vessel to be on.

But then, it would be that either way for me now, hm? Since you've promised to protect me. [He grins, still a little too pleased with that whole arrangement.]

[knowledgeordeath]

Perhaps.

[He doesn't trust their new security officer at all.]

That is correct. I have given my word to protect you.

[So matter-of-fact.]

[samahl]

[Kolivan you just keep wording things in a way that makes Cyril too damn pleased. He grins, showing a bit of that feeling on his face.]

We should train together too, so if we find ourselves in a hairy situation we'll know how the other works. Makes it easier to fight side-by-side.

[knowledgeordeath]

I am not opposed to this. Your weapon of choice is one I face very rarely. You are unlikely to hit me but improving your aim with your aim will be beneficial.

[Yes. He does plan on continuing to be a target.]

[samahl]

And now I will make it the goal to hit you. Impossible though it may be, it would be a good way to train.

I've been thinking the same thing for a while now. It's nice to have someone to help me.

[knowledgeordeath]

If that were not your goal then there would be little point in training with me.

[Just Blade things.]

You handle your arm decently for it being one you are not familiar with. More practice will only serve you well.

[samahl]

I think so too. When I first arrived we found ourselves on some rather dangerous planets. I'd hate to find myself in that situation again and be unprepared.

[knowledgeordeath]

It is rarely wise to be unprepared for dangerous situations.

[They arrive at the kitchen and he pauses to look around. Obviously he has no idea what they never have here other than the proteins. He knows those are here.]

You may see what we have and eat.

[...Problem solved.]

[samahl]

[Cyril goes about looking for something to make them both. He ends up putting together something simple and gives Kolivan a serving before sitting down to eat his own.]

I'm no cook but this should be edible.

[knowledgeordeath]

This will be fine. Thank you.

[He seriously usually just eats the protein sludge. No joke.

Sitting down, he takes advantage of the chance to not have to crouch and straightens up, rolling his shoulders. Being on a ship that is so short is very challenging sometimes.]

[samahl]

Is there anything they can do to make a ship bigger for you? You seem uncomfortable most of the time.